


It's Not a Joke

by i_write_shakespeare_not_disney



Series: Angsty/Fluffy/Smutty Klance One Shots from Tumblr [1]
Category: Voltron - Fandom, Voltron: Legendary Defender, vld - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Depression, M/M, Tumblr Prompt, season four spoiler
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-05
Updated: 2017-12-05
Packaged: 2019-02-10 22:19:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12921384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_write_shakespeare_not_disney/pseuds/i_write_shakespeare_not_disney
Summary: Prompt: “If you keep screwing around like this you’re going to get yourself killed.” “I hope so.” “You shouldn’t joke about things like that.” “Who said I was joking?”





	It's Not a Joke

Matt was talking to the paladins. Keith could tell by the expression on their faces that he was telling them about his near sacrifice. He could already hear the scolding he would get, and he really didn’t want to listen to them. Instead of staying, he ducked out of the room and went into the room he used to stay at while the rebels, the blade, and Voltron remained together to decide what to do with Lotor.

Lotor who was a half breed. Lotor who had generals that were all half-Galra. Without really meaning to, he changed his course and found the holding block where Lotor was being kept. Despite being a prisoner, he seemed relaxed. He had flowing white hair and sharp features. The only thing that showed he wasn’t fully Galra were his eyes. They weren’t solid yellow like the others. They were almost human. Or Altean, he supposed.

His eyes came up and locked on Keith. Lotor was a murderer. But he had saved Keith’s life. Still, Keith wasn’t sure if he was grateful or angry.

“And who are you?”

“I’m a Blade member.” Lotor raised an eyebrow, his stupid smirk never faltering. “I’m part Galra.”

“You don’t look it.” Keith looked down.

“I don’t need to. I just need to fight like it.” That pulled a laugh from the Galran prince. “What do you want? Why did you help?”

“Well, frankly this works in my favor. I’m sure you know my father is out to kill me. My generals turned on me. Now Voltron needs me if they want to succeed. So why not stay alive a little longer?”

“Because you’ll end up dead and unwanted anyway,” he spat. Lotor’s smile faltered and Keith turned away. His limbs were shaking and he didn’t know why. Maybe the adrenaline from almost dying was catching up with him.

He heard footsteps behind him as he walked back to his room, but before he could turn to see who it was, a hand was already gripping his arm. Then he saw Lance coming around to look at him with the most serious expression he’d ever seen on his face. “Are you going to say anything?” he asked.

“Did you get a haircut?” Lance scowled and placed his hands on his shoulders. Keith pulled away with a growl. “Don’t touch me.”

“What the hell were you thinking?”

“If Lotor hadn’t shown up, I would’ve been the reason you guys were safe. You should be thanking me.”

“Thanking you?” he shouted. “Thanking you for almost dying because you decided to make an impulsive decision? What were you trying to do, be a hero or something?” Keith grit his teeth and did his best to hold back the anger that was making his fists shake and spread heat up his neck and to his face. “If you keep making choices without thinking, you’re going to get yourself killed, Keith.”

He scoffed and pushed past him. “Yeah, I hope so.”

“You shouldn’t joke about things like that,” Lance called after him.

He turned, walking backwards. “Who said I was joking?” he spat.

He turned back to go into his room, but before the door could shut, a hand stopped it. He clenched his jaw as Lance came into the room, pale faced, eyebrows furrowed in worry. “Keith, what the hell?”

The weight of what he’d said settled and he looked away from Lance. “I was kidding.”

“No you weren’t.”

“You don’t know me, don’t tell me you know what I think!”

Lance stepped further into the room, and Keith realized there were tears in his eyes. “Don’t do that! Don’t push me away! We’ve been teammates for over a year now, Keith. I _do_ know you. You’re a fighter, but you’re not fighting anymore.” Keith stared at him, hating the way his eyes stung, the way his throat ached because it felt like he’d stuffed a steel ball down his fucking esophagus. “Are you trying to get yourself killed?”

Lance’s blue eyes were looking at him intently, watery and bright. And maybe it was because he was crying that Keith couldn’t bring himself to lie or brush off the whole thing. Lance was also being careful about not touching him, but the way his hands kept fidgeting told Keith he was really trying not to.

“Not actively,” he managed.

“What does that mean?”

“If the situation arises… I don’t really care.”

Lance took a breath and put a hand to his mouth. “Keith, wha-where is this coming from?”

He shrugged and turned away. “Think about it. Am I really even…. I cause more problems than I can fix. I’m so fucked up I can’t manage stable relationships because my first thought is that they’ll leave as soon as they can. If my parents left, why wouldn’t anyone else? You guys can form Voltron, you don’t need me. The Blade can continue without me, Allura said it herself. What am I even doing here, Lance?” He took a sharp breath which gave way for the tears in his eyes to spill over.

And just like that, he broke and didn’t even want to try to stop it.

He sat on his bed, hands yanking at his hair as more tears spilled hotly down his cheeks. “I’m not needed or wanted, there’s nothing I can fucking bring. I’m better off dead and everyone knows it. I’m just tired of looking for answers. Why am I trying so hard for my family when they left me? Shiro puts up with me, but I’m sure I’d just be a burden off his shoulders. You don’t even like me.” He shook his head and curled further into himself. “I’m too fucked up. I’m too fucked up to get anywhere, to do anything. I’m better off gone, I’m better off dead, it’s better for everyone-”

“Keith, please stop,” Lance begged, falling to his knees in front of him. His hands rested on either side of Keith against the bed. “Please.” Keith looked at him and found his crying just as profusely. “None of that is true, Keith. You can’t believe that.” He scoffed and Lance reached for his face before pulling back. “Keith, listen to me. I know what it’s like to feel like dead weight. I know. But it’s not true. You were chosen as an original paladin for a reason. The Blade has gotten more work done than they could’ve without you. You should hear how Kolivan talks about you to Shiro when we ask about you. And we ask about you because we miss you. I know we have our little banter thing, but Keith that doesn’t mean I want you dead. You’re one of the few people who takes me seriously even through the banter. You don’t cut me slack. Yeah poking fun at you was fun, but… I also miss the times when we’d work together. When you’d have my back and I’d have yours in battle. And Shiro loves you pieces, Keith. He cares about you so much and he encourages you to do what you want. He didn’t want you to leave, but he knew it was something you needed to do for yourself. Okay, maybe you’re parents left, and I don’t know why, but… aren’t we your family too? We’re not leaving you. Do you hear me, Keith? We are not leaving you. Hunk broke down in tears when Matt told us what you tried to do. Shiro hasn’t come out of his room. Pidge has been in a weird sort of frantic state but I caught her crying too. We care about you so much, Keith.”

Keith buried his face in his hands, unable to stop the tears. He hated crying, but once he started it was like it was all pouring out of him in one go. The bed dipped beside him and Lance touched his arm gently. “Do you mind?” Keith looked up and found Lance’s arms around him, hovering, waiting for permission. Keith leaned into him and Lance’s arms tightened. A warm, steady, and strong anchor for Keith who couldn’t stop shaking and crying.

Lance rocked him gently, even though he was still crying too. He was holding him together, and Keith didn’t want him to let go for a long time. Something told him Lance wouldn’t mind that.


End file.
